BECAUSE THEY WANT THE PAIN TO STOP

BECAUSE THEY WANT THE PAIN TO STOP "Did you really want to die?" "No one commits suicide because they want to die." "Then why do they do it?" "Because they want to stop the pain." -Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a Rock Star Suicide is a global epidemic. In 2017 it claimed over a million … Continue reading BECAUSE THEY WANT THE PAIN TO STOP

There’s a name for all this. A “to make a very long story short” 10 letter word: depression

"There's a name for all this. A "to make a very long story short" ten letter word: depression" Much appreciation to guest contributor, Bridgette Saunders! I've stopped eating with others and have begun consuming myself instead. I aspire to grow miniscule, to protrude out less, to scale down my five foot nine frame to a … Continue reading There’s a name for all this. A “to make a very long story short” 10 letter word: depression

“Who the Hell Wants to Be the Setting on a Dryer?”

"Who the Hell Wants to Be the Setting on a Dryer?" "Normal Is Just a Setting On the Dryer: And Other Lessons from the Real, Real World" -Patsy Clairmont As human beings, we are social animals, instinctively wired with a need to feel a sense of belonging and to feel loved. Sadly, our increasingly toxic … Continue reading “Who the Hell Wants to Be the Setting on a Dryer?”

A DARKNESS WILL ALWAYS EXIST WITHIN ME

A DARKNESS WILL ALWAYS EXIST WITHIN ME It took me many years to learn (the VERY hard way) that my Bipolar Disorder is an illness that afflicts my brain, is chronic, and, if left untreated, is highly lethal. Much like a diabetic, I have had to learn to radically change my life in order to … Continue reading A DARKNESS WILL ALWAYS EXIST WITHIN ME

SELF-SACRIFICE AND SERVICE

SELF-SACRIFICE AND SERVICE "Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us." -AA Big Book, pg 77 Of all the arrows in my quiver that I use to keep my demons of Alcoholism, Bipolar Disorder, and Porn Addiction at bay, Alcoholics Anonymous has been the … Continue reading SELF-SACRIFICE AND SERVICE

“TREE OF ADDICTIONS”

"TREE OF ADDICTIONS" I live in this wretched, yet blessed tree. From it's gnarly clutches I will never be free. Though this mighty Yew is rooted in pain, Spirituality has rinsed my suffering with gentle rain. Indeed, my safe perch of sobriety is precarious, Yet, I love where I am -please don't think it hilarious. … Continue reading “TREE OF ADDICTIONS”

WE ALL NEED LOVE

WE ALL NEED LOVE As I have traversed this highway called life for 51 years, I have done so with an SMI and dual addictions. Before I got into sustainable one-day-at-a-stability and sobriety, it was like driving a car that was only running on three of six cylinders. Or running a marathon with one leg. … Continue reading WE ALL NEED LOVE

MONSTERS ARE REAL

MONSTERS ARE REAL “Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.” - Stephen King Those of us with a mental illness and/or an addiction are painfully aware that there is no hyperbole here. My Bipolar Disorder, Alcoholism, and Porn Addiction are monsters and ghosts dwelling within me. … Continue reading MONSTERS ARE REAL

It’s Not Always the Other Person

"It's Not Always the Other Person" This little observation reached off of my phone's screen, grabbed me by what little hair I have, and tugged sharply to give me an important reminder of one of the key components to staying stable and sober. Blaming others to justify my toxic behaviors was a go-to for me … Continue reading It’s Not Always the Other Person

Fell Years Ago. Never Gave Up.

"Fell Years Ago. Never Gave Up." Uoon reading a bit of my story that I had shared, a peer posted this photo of the fallen tree that has continued to grow and thrive. They wrote that it reminded them of me. This tree certainly is very symbolic of my life and my response to it. … Continue reading Fell Years Ago. Never Gave Up.