Cruelty Has Many Guises

Having been raised by someone with a passive-aggressive personality disorder, my personal experience, is that their gaslighting, (as discussed in this article); their rigid, limited, and maladaptive coping skills; their inability to empathize; and the conditionality of their "love" cause severe emotional damage, deliver a steady onslaught of psychological abuse, and deeply embed profound senses … Continue reading Cruelty Has Many Guises

Even when our minds give out under the tremendous weight, we are still enough

A powerful and deeply insightful essay by Mary Nikkel.  It reveals Tolkien's deliberate use of Frodo as a metaphor for those of us who suffer the internal conflicts and torture of addiction, trauma, and mental illness. We are still, and always, enough. JM I’ve threatened this digital essay for some time, and now I feel … Continue reading Even when our minds give out under the tremendous weight, we are still enough

I am Pulling for You

I am Pulling for You There is no doubt that those of us who have survived, and even continued to function in society with a severe mental illness, are strong people. Some of us call ourselves warriors. Personally, I prefer not to cast myself in that light.  But one thing that I know to the … Continue reading I am Pulling for You


THE 'HARD STUFF' CEASES TO MATTER One of the most bitter pills I've had to swallow in my 53 year journey is that, as my father drilled into my head, "life doesn't get any easier." So far my experience has demonstrated that Dad was on to something.  I recall rolling my eyes (in my mind … Continue reading THE ‘HARD STUFF’ CEASES TO MATTER

I Am Not My Illnesses

This spoke to me when I read this. It's a great reminder that I am not my trauma, my Bipolar Disorder, or my Addictions. I am not them. They are not my identity.  And while they inform many of my choices and shape who I am as I continue to evolve (because of my recovery … Continue reading I Am Not My Illnesses

Look for the Helpers

Years ago, before acquiring effective coping mechanisms, receiving the love and compassionate teachings of wonderful therapists, starting medication for my Bipolar Disorder, immersing myself in the AA way of life and Fellowship, and putting forth ongoing diligent efforts, I was the person with extreme anxiety described below on many occasions. I was blessed with the … Continue reading Look for the Helpers

It’s a Private Hell

Obsessive thinking and Compulsive behavior are powerful components of my Bipolar Disorder that also contributed heavily to my two addictions. I sought to self medicate my way out of the mental torture they inflicted upon me. I lived this private hell from ages 6 to 26, when I was introduced to Cognitive Behavioral and Exposure … Continue reading It’s a Private Hell