TODAY MY SOFTNESS CAN DEFEND ITSELF "I don't want to be hard. I just want my softness to know how to defend itself." -Lindsay Young, a poet from Long Island, New York When I read these words, they penetrated to my very core, penetrating the scarred surface of my soul and caressing it like a … Continue reading TODAY MY SOFTNESS CAN DEFEND ITSELF →

Surrender and Willingness: Disarming the Juggernaut of Self Will "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” What a critical and amazing Step towards spiritual healing and growth. Many talk about the accompanying principle being willingness, and AA's Step 3 does involves a … Continue reading Surrender and Willingness: Disarming the Juggernaut of Self Will →

"It's Likely That the Greatest Battle You Will Ever Face Will Be With Yourself" Accepting the truth of that statement came as easy to me as believing that a person needs oxygen to survive. Through birth and indoctrination (in what Attachment Therapist, Dan Gabberts, calls the "boot camp of childhood that trains us for the … Continue reading “It’s Likely That the Greatest Battle You Will Ever Face Will Be With Yourself” →

This piece is one that I penned back in the mid 2000's, when my writing was getting picked up by many Leftist online zines. Since I was focusing on the historical and contemporary plight of people with a mental illness (ironically, I was in denial about my Bipolar Disorder at the time) when I was … Continue reading Forgotten Victims of America’s Plutocracy →

Silence Beats Drama Any Day When I was in the throes of my untreated Bipolar Disorder and dual addictions, chaos and drama were near constant companions. Peace and serenity weren't even remote considerations. My nightmares of obsessive thinking, mental self-flagellation, self-hatred, resentments, anxieties, and the ever-present specter of Clinical Depression were mitigated and (seemingly) held … Continue reading Silence Beats Drama Any Day →

For three years, I took weekly AA meetings to a detox center for the homeless and indigent in Kansas City. I met and heard stories from many addicts who had hit deep, deep bottoms, like the ones in the article below. I shared my experience, strength, and hope about recovery with them. Yet I believe … Continue reading MY HEART BLEEDS FOR THEM… →

Bruised, Battered, and Blooded, I Was Able to Carry On.... "Don't quit. You're already in pain. You're already hurt. Get a reward from it." Enabling me to survive as a functioning human being in competitive, mean-spirited society (while suffering from untreated serious mental illness, cross-addictions, and indoctrinated shame), the above notion, which is neatly summed … Continue reading Bruised, Battered, and Blooded, I Was Able to Carry On…. →

One of my core indoctrinated beliefs, compliments of my upbringing and society, was that kindness is a weakness. Perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned on my spiritual journey towards recovery and brain health has been that kindness is a strength. It took great courage for me to be vulnerable enough to act with kindness … Continue reading KINDNESS: A STRENGTH AND A SALVE →

UP FROM THE MUD AND SLIME I CAME Birth is frightening, messy, and bloody. I was there for the birth of my twin sons. It was an incredibly painful and scary experience for their mother. And the boys? Well, they emerged slathered in blood and amniotic fluid -screaming, and helpless. I wasn't allowed to hold … Continue reading UP FROM THE MUD AND SLIME I CAME →

Darkness does deserve gratitude. Some of my darkest moments, and even stretches of time, have proven to be the most fertile ground for my spiritual growth. Driven to desperation by the inky blackness that was enshrouding and consuming my soul, I fled to the light, instinctively drawn there like a moth to a lantern. It … Continue reading DARKNESS DESERVES GRATITUDE →