SAVED FROM MYSELF For years I put myself into situations in which I needed someone to "save me from myself." Many were dire, potentially life-threatening, and severely self-destructive. Surviving with untreated Bipolar Disorder, Alcoholism, and Porn Addiction, I put myself through the mill and engaged in myriad high risk behaviors when I was manic and … Continue reading SAVED FROM MYSELF
GRATITUDE AS A STATE OF BEING Gratitude is a powerful healing balm for tortured thinking and emotions. I know this from hard-won experience. Prior to the start of my spiritual recovery in AA several years ago, I took all of my blessings for granted, either feeling entitled or oblivious to them. In the midst of … Continue reading GRATITUDE AS A STATE OF BEING
"Pain Changes People" Pain certainly changed me. For the worst while I endured it. For the best when I came out on the other side. Much of the pain and suffering I have experienced in my 51 years have stemmed from my Bipolar Disorder and addictions. Whether it was the excruciating mental and emotional pain … Continue reading “Pain Changes People”
LEARN, LOVE, AND BE OF SERVICE In my 25 year journey (which is ongoing) of awakening spiritually and becoming more stable, I have come a long way, by the grace of God and by my blood, sweat, and tears. My starting point in 1993 was a life shattered by untreated Bipolar Disorder and Alcoholism. The … Continue reading LEARN, LOVE, AND BE OF SERVICE
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Many of us were taught this horrific lie at a young age. Henry Gale wrote, "It’s one of those folk wisdom retorts or pieces of general wisdom that filters through the culture until any original author fades from recollection." It is far … Continue reading Be careful with your words. They’re the hardest things to take back
EVEN LIES, FIRMLY BELIEVED, MANIFEST AS REALITY Lies have been a frequent companion in my journey through life. Both those that I frequently told others when I was in the throes of my addictions and those that I told myself. Dishonesty is a hallmark trait of Alcoholics and addicts, which is why Honesty is the … Continue reading EVEN LIES, FIRMLY BELIEVED, MANIFEST AS REALITY
SURRENDER AND ACCEPTANCE It is awesome to wake up and realize that I don't need to change or control the world. Because things are going to unfold according to the will of a Higher Power of my (or your) understanding. Whomever or whatever She, He, or It may be. It took me 43 years of … Continue reading SURRENDER AND ACCEPTANCE
When I was still riding the emotional, mental, and spiritual uber roller coaster of Bipolar Disorder (soaring to breath-taking heights and plunging to soul-crushing depths at breakneck speed), self-destruction was my worst habit. Nearly running and starving myself to death, falling into a large vat of near boiling concentrated sodium hyroxide due to drinking, temporary … Continue reading Destroying Myself Was my Worst Habit
"While the mind is meant to serve us, one can get lost in the maze of its delusions." Those words jump off the page at me, glaring like a colorful, bold neon sign. For many years, my experience was the inverse. I was enslaved to my mind by my obsessions, ruminations, and distorted thoughts that … Continue reading I am experiencing freedom from bondage. And my mind usually serves me.
YOU ARE SOMEONE For many years, I tortured myself with the question of whether or not there was a core being who was me. When I was deep into my Bipolar Disorder years of barely holding onto being functional and surviving (rather than living), I "fell in love with "existentialism. I was, I concluded, little … Continue reading YOU ARE SOMEONE!