I am a survivor of Bipolar Disorder, Alcoholism, and Porn Addiction. With the omnipresence of the omnipotent Higher Power of my understanding, I harmed many others, waged many battles, and very nearly destroyed myself. And to prove it, my soul, and parts of my body, are richly textured with scars -deeply carved fissures and chelations … Continue reading And I am grateful.
"You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." -Brene Brown Today my friend revealed to me that they have Body Dysmorphic Disorder -concerning their weight. Had they not told me, the chances of me picking the Power Ball number would have been greater than realizing that my … Continue reading “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” -Brene Brown
BUT IT'S WORTH THE PAIN The process of letting go of older versions of myself has been one of the most difficult and painful passages in my soul's journey through this material world. Which is actually a powerful statement, as my life up the the initial stages of this metamorphosis had been wracked with emotional … Continue reading BUT IT’S WORTH THE PAIN
Lady Gaga's 2019 Grammy Acceptance Speech: "If I don't get another chance to say this, I just want to say I'm so proud to be a part of a movie that address mental health issues. They're so important. And a lot of artists ... a lot of artists deal with that. And we gotta take … Continue reading Lady Gaga’s 2019 Grammy Acceptance Speech:
WE ARE NOT DISPOSABLE PEOPLE From a very young age, my Bipolar mind obsessed and ruminated with the power and relentlessness of an infinite number of John Henry's pounding their sledge-hammers mercilessly inside my head. Sleep, precious sleep, was my only reprieve. One particular rumination that inflicted its torture the most frequently and forcefully was … Continue reading WE ARE NOT DISPOSABLE PEOPLE
Suffering Does Not Isolate You. Suffering Is Your Bridge.... My experience has taught me that the MOST important time to help others is when we are struggling with our personal demons. No matter how small the gesture may be or how little we can do because of our pain. For years, even after I started … Continue reading Suffering Does Not Isolate You. Suffering Is Your Bridge…
Being "Perfect" and Shunning Vulnerability Comes With a Very High Price. Fear. "This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it." (AA Big Book, pg 67) Fear of failure, and the omnipresent possibility that I would … Continue reading Being “Perfect” and Shunning Vulnerability Comes With a Very High Price
Living stable with Bipolar Disorder, a serious mental illness, is challenging, takes perseverance, and involved a tremendous amount of suffering, chaos, self-destruction, and infliction of pain on others in my past. Sometimes, it's good to just laugh about the disasterous roller coaster rides of mania I experienced....
IF MY SELF-HATRED HAD A FACE Fifty plus years ago, shortly after I came into this world, the seeds of self-hatred began to be sown into my psyche. No human being is born hating themselves or others. Hatred is "planted, nurtured, and cultivated" over time, flourishing into a gnarly, thorny underbrush that dominates the landscape … Continue reading IF MY SELF-HATRED HAD A FACE
LISTEN TO THE MUSTN'TS Shel Silverstein "Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child, Listen to the DON'TS Listen to the SHOULDN'TS The IMPOSSIBLES, the WONT'S Listen to the NEVER HAVES Then listen close to me- Anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be" The inverse is true too! In fact, one of the first Cognitive Distortions that this … Continue reading “Anything can happen, child. ANYTHING can be.”