TRUE BELONGING Like many people, I wasted years "fitting in." Ignoring not only my authentic self, I also denied my Bipolar Disorder and dual Addiction. Eviscerating myself spiritually, and torturing myself psychologically, I put myself through painful and self injurious social gymnastics to "be" the person I was "supposed to be" in order to fit … Continue reading TRUE BELONGING →

You are not worth less. Act accordingly! Our society teaches us to compare, compete, judge, and qualify people based on material, physical, and external circumstances, conditions, abilities, and appearances. And some of us have these soul-mutilating beliefs stitched deeply into the fabric of our being by a shame-based family of origin. These pernicious lies inform … Continue reading You are not worth less. Act accordingly! →

Social Anxiety is Emotional Hell. Once embroiled in this excruciating state of abject terror that I would fail, experience rejection, be mocked and judged, and lose the capacity to function in public altogether, shame and fear gripped me like a vise and infused my entire being -rendering me nearly paralyzed, and most certainly crippled. With … Continue reading →

Many years ago (circa 1995), I read The Road Less Travelled, by M. Scott Peck. He was a reknowned psychiatrist who held several high level positions at both military and civilian psychiatric facilities. He once wrote, "After many years of vague identification with Buddhist and Islamic mysticism, I ultimately made a firm Christian commitment – … Continue reading Life is Difficult. Pain is Mandatory. Suffering is Optional. →

Relating to Quasimodo: The Abject Suffering of Self Flagellation and Ruminations "The Flogging of Quasimodo" hits me at a very visceral level, as it taps into a wellspring of pathos, and a metaphorical empathy for the tragically miserable existence of Victor Hugo's protagonist. While I have not endured the abject suffering that Quasimodo did during … Continue reading Relating to Quasimodo: The Abject Suffering of Self Flagellation and Ruminations →

(Living in a subculture that loves me unconditionally FOR my social "sins," this beautiful young lady's insight and experience touch and soothe my soul like a sudden cool breeze on a torturously hot summer day or like listening to a virtuoso performance of Mozart’s the Sonata No. 16 in C Major.) -JM A THANK YOU … Continue reading A THANK YOU LETTER TO THE HATERS →

Hell is Porn Porn grabbed me by the balls at a very young age and has never let go. My Addiction to Pornography has dogged me relentlessly for years. Ever since I discovered the cocaine-like rush of a pornographic orgasm -one induced by masturbation to irresistibly seductive images of tantalizing women exposing themselves in ways … Continue reading Hell is Porn →

I am open about my Bipolar Disorder and Alcoholism so that my fellow sufferers of mental illness and/or addiction know that it's possible to keep one's head above water in our 'survival of the fittest' society, even with these extreme challenges. For 52 years and counting. One day at a time, through perseverance, with many … Continue reading →

"True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you … Continue reading True belonging →