Hanging on by my Fingernails

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Despite having Bipolar Disorder and dual addictions, I have been “high functioning” for a very significant part of my life. There have been periods of chaos, disaster, self-harm, harming others, and misery, but I almost always had at least a job, a place to live, and was fulfilling my personal responsibilities as a member of society.

My Higher Power blessed me with a great deal of perseverance, a good mind, and a potent work ethic instilled by my family, which enabled me to (barely) keep my head above water. For that I am grateful.

Today, through AA, treatment, 12 Step spirituality, connection with an amazing support network, and a deep connection with the Higher Power of my understanding, I have a life I never would have believed possible. By God’s grace. One day at a time.

But for years, despite being “high functioning,” I struggled and suffered immensely. Tortured by the myriad wicked demons of untreated mental illness and addiction. Some days all I could do was hang on by my finger nails and fake my way through life. And I know now that God was carrying me through those times.

I am not a Christian, but I revere Jesus and his teachings. Happy Good Friday! 🙏😊