MEANING AND PURPOSE
“A man is never too weak or too wounded to fight. If his cause is greater than his own life.”
“Oenomaus was a Gallic gladiator, who escaped from the gladiatorial school of Lentulus Batiatus in Capua. Together with the Thracian Spartacus and the fellow Gauls Crixus, Castus and Gannicus, he became one of the leaders of rebellious slaves during the Third Servile War (73–71 BC)” ~Wiki
In what I have come to realize is my spiritual journey through this temporal world, my Bipolar Disorder, dual addictions, and crippling maladaptive “skill set” from a toxic family of origin have thrust me into the midst of many serious and extended tribulations -some of my own making, and most dragging others through the broken glass with me.
Stumbling across this quote by Oenomaus recently, I reflected on some of the “causes,” or what I prefer to think of as the aspects of my life that bring meaning and purpose to my existence….
Being a father. Being a husband. Being a living kidney donor. Being a person with a severe mental illness and addictions who has been blessed to find the tools, support, and spiritual beliefs and practices to be a high functioning, contributing member of society. Being blessed to be able to share my testimony with others. Being a person who hit a low rock bottom twice and is still here to share my experience, strength, and hope with others. Being a spiritually focused person.
All of these interlock and connect to form a strong backbone around which the rest of my being is fleshed out. This bulwark, and the Higher Power of my understanding, have enabled to me to keep going, even when I found myself in Hell, as the saying goes.
Each and every component of my meaning and purpose, was, and does, require varying measures of blood, sweat, and tears to perpetuate them. And, if I neglected my self care and recovery, they would melt away as rapidly as a light snow on a warm spring morning.
Even when I find myself weak, or when my old wounds try to cripple me, the meaning and purpose in my life, coupled with the my Higher Power, imbue me with the strength to keep going.