THE SUFFERING IS REAL
Untreated severe mental illness is a nightmare beyond anything that even the frightening and deeply macabre imagination of Stephen King could portray with its seemingly supernatural capacity to birth a horrific tale.
As both a Stephen King fan and as one who has suffered untreated severe mental illness, I feel confident that there is validity to this statement.
Misery is an apt word for the experience of obsessions and compulsions, torturous ruminations, crippling anxiety, racing thoughts, soul-crushing depression, self-destructive mania, self-medicating, and using maladaptive behaviors to cope because that’s all you’ve got.
To those who say, “but it’s all in your head,” I say, “First of all, if you spent a day in my head when I was untreated, you’d be crying like a little bitch. Haven’t you ever heard of psychological ‘interrogation tactics?’ That’s what our minds do to us.”
“And further, the immense agony that our minds inflict upon us trigger us to act out in very self-destructive ways to alleviate the mental pain – thereby destroying relationships, costing us the ability to function in society, damaging our physical health, and sometimes leading to homelessness, imprisonment, or death. So fuck you.”
I persisted and persevered with untreated or inadequately treated Bipolar Disorder plus two major addictions for nearly four decades before I found spiritual recovery and a number of other modalities to live a sober and stable life.
It’s been a tough fucking road and I’ve got the scars, damage in my wake, and faith in a Higher Power of my understanding to prove it.
So if you’re a skeptic about the devastation of mental illness, or don’t care to help shape society so that it cares for those with a mental illness and are still suffering, stay the fuck away from me.