“The most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star and the scapegoat, the righteous and the wretched, the powerful and the pathetic.”
-John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame That Binds You
Toxic shame, transferred and indoctrinated into me by my primary care-givers, festered at the core of my soul for a substantial portion of my life.
Like a metastatic, malignant tumor, it spread and grew, extending its slimy, slithering tendrils into nearly every aspect of my spiritual and emotional being.
Like the cancer that it is, it attacked and weakened the healthy aspects of my soul, nearly choking out my capacity for love, joy, and feelings of self-worth.
A series of ongoing and excruciating spiritual surgeries were the means by which my care-givers and I were able to extricate this malignancy and arrive at a place of remission that requires ongoing theraputic practices to stay healthy, with no guarantee that I will.