Letting Go of the Demons Inside
Despite the fact that our demons torment us to the core of our being, those of us caught in the throes of mental illness or addiction often find it hard to allow for their exorcism. Even once presented with the opportunity, assistance, and tools to do so.
Change can be frightening thing, particularly if one is struggling to function as a viable, ongoing human concern, clinging to maladaptive behaviors (that spawn and feed the demons) for dear life.
For many years, virtually all I had were faulty coping mechanisms that resulted in immiseration and self-destruction. While they did torture me, they were all I knew and they kept me at least semi-functional in what I perceived to be an alien, hostile world that would tear me apart at any opportunity.
Despite the pain my demons inflicted upon me, I found comfort in the familiar, avoiding the risk and work of change, and receiving “protection” from an “utterly cruel” world.
After years of work via therapy, AA, and other modalities, I now recognize that I can live and thrive in a world that has lots of good to counter balance the mean-spiritedness that was all I perceived before. No bunker mentality required.
I have also learned that I don’t need my demons anymore, as I have been blessed to discover many healthy coping skills, medication, and much help from therapists, AA, and a strong support network.
My demons do rear their ugly heads at times, but for the most part, they have been exorcised.
One day at a time. Glory to the Higher Power of my understanding.