“Hurt people hurt people.”
And, “if you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.”
I have witnessed and experienced these truths time and again throughout my 51 years.
Having had my fragile, developing psyche pummeled with years of both overt verbal and emotional attacks and covert, passive aggressive cruelties, I developed ridiculously maladaptive coping mechanisms as a child.
Despite the seeds of empathy for the vulnerable having been sown deep within me, they would not germinate until much later.
Meanwhile, my psychic wounds festered and immiserated me. Which led me to lash out at others to protect myself in my raw, exposed pain. And my means of navigating life was so toxic that it harmed nearly everyone whom I encountered, emotionally, financially, or psychologically.
For 26 years, and even through periods of my subsequent recovery, I “bled on people who didn’t cut me.” And sometimes I cut them.
Various recovery tools, AA, and the Higher Power of my understanding pulled me from the scrapheap of humanity. And today, I have a different and better way to live.
Thank God for the 9th Step (amends) and redemption.. ..