Yes! I am still in Recovery!
Being in Recovery doesn’t mean you are cured. Having started my Recovery journey in 1993, and having found the elements and the grace that have afforded me solid, stable Recovery for the last 8 years, it can be very easy to forget that I have a serious mental illness (SMI) for which there is no cure.
With my Bipolar Disorder, my Alcoholism, and my Porn Addiction, I need periodic (sometimes frequent) reminders of what it teaches on page 85 of the Big Book of AA:
“What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.”
I also have a very good therapist who reminds me that I need to stay vigilant and diligent. Or (my words now) as Slayer once sang, “Hell awaits.”
AND I have the example of a role model of mine, Kevin Hines, and the regimen he maintains to keep his Bipolar Disorder at bay.
Today I got a minor but painful reminder of how quickly my brain can misinterpret a situation and get me all twisted like a pretzel. When I am not employing CBT and other adaptive coping skills. Or when I am very tired. Usually those are simultaneous.
Fortunately, I almost always (and did today) have the wherewithal, recognition, willingness, and grace of my HP to fetch myself up sharply and do what needs to be done to “right the ship.”
There is no cure for my illnesses, but they no longer define or immiserate me.
Not cured. But in Recovery. One day at a time.