Triggers and Buried Painful Memories

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Those of us with a mental illness, deep emotional wounds, or an addiction, particularly before we get into recovery, can be easily triggered by sounds, smells, events, images, toxic behavior, bullying, and a host of other things.

When we do get triggered, a buried subconcious or emotional memory surfaces (sometimes impacting me without me even being aware of it), leaving us feeling shame, anxiety, rage, fear, paralysis, powerlessness, or any number of intense and sometimes crippling emotions.

In my 25 years of fits and starts of recovery from Bipolar Disorder, addictions, and emotional wounds, I have engaged in intense therapy and 12 Step spiritual Fellowships, acquiring and using many tools to learn to live a healthy, stable life.

Yet the one piece that has been missing has been to explore and seek to heal my deeply embedded painful memories that still inform my thoughts, behaviors, emotions and responses, to some degree.

Towards that end, I have opened a new frontier in my recovery. I am working with a new therapist and we will be doing EMDR treatment. The first session went well and I am looking forward to continuing my recovery journey by trying this new path, while continuing to practice what I know works.

“If we aren’t going forward, we are sliding backward.” -an AA saying

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