For the first thirty plus years of my adult life, I faked being well.
Sometimes barely able to function, and sometimes functioning at a very basic level, I either denied my severe Bipolar Disorder and its potpourri of symptoms and manifestations, minimized it, hid it as best I could, and forged ahead, living as “normal” a life as possible. Though at times, my thoughts, behavior, and feelings became very skewed and dysfunctional.
Since the general attitude of our society is to stigmatize those with a mental Illness, and it expects us to pull us up by our bootstraps when we are barefoot, we tend to respond to that pressure by struggling to live up to that expectation and by pleasing others.
Nevermind the fact that we are dying inside and that some of us decide to end our lives because the pain is too excruciating.
Thankfully, I found recovery and a support network where I can be vulnerable and “not well.”
To my fellow sufferers, Godspeed and may you find the same…