Do I believe it would be insane to walk up to someone and say, “May I please have a heart attack or a fatal accident.”
Basic Text, p. 24
We’ve heard it said that unless we’re in love, we can’t remember what love feels like. The same could be said of insanity: Once we’re freed of it, we may forget how truly bizarre our insane thinking can be. But to be grateful for the degree of sanity to which we’ve been restored in Narcotics Anonymous, we need to remember just how truly insane we’ve been.
Today, it may be bard to imagine saying something as ridiculous as, “May I please have a heart attack or a fatal accident?” No one in their right mind is going to ask for such things. And that’s the point. In our active addiction, we were not in our right mind. Each day we practiced our addiction, we courted fatal disease, degradation, exploitation, impoverishment, imprisonment, death by violence, even death by sheer stupidity. In that context, the idea of asking for a heart attack or a fatal accident doesn’t sound all that far out. That’s how insane we’ve been.
The program, the fellowship, and our Higher power-together, they’ve worked a miracle. The Second Step is not a vain hope – it is reality. Knowing the degree of the insanity we’ve experienced, we can appreciate all the more the miraculous Power that has restored us thus far to sanity. For that, we are truly grateful.
Just for Today: I will take some time to recall how insane I’ve been while practicing my addiction. Then, I will thank my Higher Power for the sanity that’s been restored to my life.